WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?

Everything that I’ve done, has been for you

I have fought for you

Conquered for you 

I’ve given you everything you desired 

I parted seas for you, literally

What have I done to make you hate me?

You won’t talk to Me

You won’t spend time with Me

You’re get angry when things didn’t go your way

I saved your life 

Protected it

Never did you see danger coming

I have settled wars for you 

Destroyed your enemies before you saw them

The dangers you see everyday?

Some of those were meant to harm you

I stopped them

I stop everything that means you no good

I DIED FOR YOU

WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU?!

You hear my heartbeat because it’s your heartbeat

I have given EVERYTHING for you

I have done everything for you

And yet you still don’t believe that I love you 

And you won’t love Me

What else must I do to prove My love to you?

What else could I do to make you love Me?

Was My life not enough?

Is my Spirit not enough?

Is my Heart not enough?

WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?!

I’ve protected you since the beginning of time 

All I asked for in return was your heart

The heart I gave you

The one I specifically designed for you

I bled for you

Shed blood for you

And all I asked you to do was love me

Is that so hard?

Just love Me

And let Me love you

HESED: STEADY LOVE

God, I love You

Every fiber of my being is You

You see through me

You know all of my thoughts 

My desires

And You still love me

Why? 

You’re an amazing God with no limits

And you choose to love me

What have I done to deserve Your love?

A wretched being incased in flesh

Who is sometimes bound by that flesh

Who has turned her back on You time and again

Did almost everything You said to not do

Yet here You are

Why?

I’ve done nothing to earn Your love

I’ve not reciprocated properly

I’ve not held up Your standards 

I’ve done nothing to receive the love You so freely give

And You’re still here

Forgive me for taking advantage of Your love

Often leaving it unrequited being consumed with the situations of this world

Losing focus of the Savior of this world

Thank You for Your strength

Your power

Your love

The love I’d be lost with out

The love that cannot be manipulated 

The love that is genuine

The love that says, “It cost blood to save you.’

That love

Thank You for loving me

Seeing me

Even the messed up parts

That’s why I love You

You’re authentic

You never change

Thank You for being a consistent God to an inconsistent people

I love You

Whispers of Repentance

God, forgive me. 

Forgive me for my words.

The things I said when I was drunk with the wine of the world and forgot You.

Forgive me for my anger.

My mouth remained closed, but my heart spewed irritation into my atmosphere. 

It consumed the room and sucked the life out of what was supposed to be a safe place.

God, forgive me.

Forgive me for holding grudges against the child You forgave.

Forgive me for holding on to the past as if it’s some sort of lifeline.

My hands have cramped holding onto past issues when all I was supposed to hold on to is You.

Forgive me for being selfish with me.

I’ve withheld affection because I didn’t believe I was receiving it, so I saw no point.

Forgive me for deserting hope.

I placed too much faith in a flawed creation, and when chaos ensued, my heart became sick.

I walked away from hope because it let me down.

So I thought

Truth is, I left myself down when my eyes left You.

What should’ve been my primary focus became a blur in my peripheral vision. 

I saw You, but my eyes were not on You.

God, forgive me.

Forgive me for distrust. 

I didn’t understand how everything was working for my good.

But You told me not to lean on my own understanding and to trust You.

Forgive me.

Forgive me for being ungrateful.

You answered a prayer that I never prayed out loud.

But the package the answer came in was unpleasant and painful. 

So while I said thank You, I questioned You and even asked, “God, WTF is this?”

Your ways aren’t my ways. 

God, forgive me.

Forgive me for neglecting You.

Lack of sleep and discipline have inhabited my body for decades, and my flesh gives in every time. 

No more.

You told me my body is a temple.

If I want You to protect it,

I have to protect it as well.

God, I love You.

Thank You for forgiveness.

It’s Your nature.

And it lets me know that I am loved.

A God -Led Life: Lifestyle Over Aesthetic

 

I’ve noticed an increase in Christianity on social media. It has become somewhat of a trend. Nearly every other creator appearing on my page is a Christian influencer. That’s all well and good, but we must understand that living for God is not just a look, but a way of life. Following Christ isn’t about creating a personal brand — it’s about daily surrender and obedience to God.

I believe what some of those creators are doing is wonderful. I just want to ensure that their heart is in the right place and that they are pointing people toward Jesus Christ more than toward themselves. I’d like to list a few things that living for God is, and is not:

Living for God IS NOT:

• Making comical videos that modernize the Bible for better understanding
• Showing up to a public place to study the Bible with a variety of highlighters
• Turning Christianity into a niche for exposure and profit
• Saying and doing one thing in private but another in public (Okay, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)
• Dressing to the 9s for church
• Using Christian quotes or verses online but ignoring them in real life
• Treating church like a social event instead of a place of worship

 

Living for God IS:

•  Putting God first in everything you do
• Living a life fully dedicated to Him
• Being obedient to God’s Word
• Laying down the life you desire for the life He has for you
• Having a hunger and desire for His Word (the Bible)
• Loving and trusting God with your whole heart — EVERYTHING
• Forgiving and releasing
• Humility and compassion with a heart to serve.

These examples are not meant to take digs or throw shade at anyone. I used them because they were fresh on my mind.

FINAL THOUGHT
Take inventory of your walk with Christ. Search the areas where Christianity has been more of an aesthetic than a lifestyle. Where can you do better in your Christian Walk? When did you switch from lifestyle to aesthetic? God sent His Son to die for us. The LEAST we can do is live for him

Always remember that I love you and I want you Free In Christ.

 

RHYTHM

 

God's voice is the rhythm to my heart.
The beat flows so effortlessly.
I find myself getting lost in the cadence
Of “I. LOVE. YOU.”

How wonderful it is to know that the pace of my heart
Is guided by the One True King.
And to think—
I almost gave that up for a world that was never meant to last.

How foolish I was to almost trade my soul,
Exchange my life,
Sell my spirit
To a buyer who never had the money and had no intention of paying.

I almost dropped the beat following a world I was meant to leave behind—
A pause in my life,
Longing for and loving sensations and situations that neither longed for nor loved me.

How careless—
My weak attempts to create a rhythm of my own:
An arrhythmia,
A misguided beat.

I wanted a rhythm and not the rhythm.
Why keep up the tempo of the world
When God’s tempo is the one that created you,
Molded you,
Formed you?

God is the pacemaker of your soul.
Why would you want something artificial—
That won’t last,
That you’ll have to keep replacing—
Because it was never designed to keep you alive?

Don’t harden your heart to the One who is the rhythm that is our lifeline.
That’s when you flatline.